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Lubricate when you Masturbate: What Lube to Use

Tub Humping

Get clean and dirty at the same time:

Lube up your dick and balls with Vaseline, turn the shower on super hot water for about 5 minutes, then turn it off.  Make  sure the tub is drained then lay on your stomach and fuck the bottom of the tub.  The Vaseline will melt a little bit from the warmth of the tub. This feels great!!  Plus the  noise your balls make as they  plop on the bottom of the tub is a bonus.  You will cum in no time.  Make sure you are home alone as this could get noisy.


Minty Fresh Lube

Get the sensation, and clear your sinuses:

Make a lube out of Vaseline and unscented mineral oil or baby oil, then add a few drops of eucalyptus, menthol or some other "cooling" oil and whack away! Mix it all up until it has a light airy consistency. It is messy, of course, but just keep some shop towels on a roll nearby and its no big deal.  


Aloe Vera

Helps with sunburn too:

I've tried every kind of lube and the absolute best is fresh aloe vera gel, much better than KY Jelly. You can buy it at a drugstore but it is best if it is fresh. Pick a leaf, split it and scrape out the gel with a pairing knife. I like to collect a vial of this and mix it with alcohol which acts as a preservative. I put it in a squirt bottle and apply as needed. When you're done its just dries and leaves your cock nice and soft. Warning: Aloe is extremely bitter tasting so if there's any chance of getting a blow job you better wash it off.


Denture Adhesive 

When you do this fantasize about Martha Raye:

The best lube by far is denture adhesive!! Very slippery at first but progressively gets stickier.


Shower to Shower Each Day

Helps keep odor away:

For lubrication I like to use a powder like baby powder or shower to shower. It creates the perfect amount of friction. I find that if I use soap, it is too slippery and I squeeze too hard. Baby oil is good at the beach but it is messy to clean up at home.


Natural juice

The first one sounds a bit more appetizing:

The best is a women that's so horny her pussy lips are trembling with every touch of your tongue. And she is so wet that its dripping off your chin. Take that love juice and beat off with it right in front of her. Its great to shoot it on her tummy. The next best thing is mayonnaise, Kraft mayo light seems best. Try it!


Salon style

And when you're done, you can style your pubic hair:

Use water-based hair gel, the type that is slippery not sticky. It does tend to dry after a while but a little water will solve that.


Head and Shoulders

However, if you need it to keep your penis from flaking, see a doctor:

This might sound weird, but using a dandruff shampoo works very well as a lube. The menthol in it gives a strange yet pleasurable tingle when you rub it on. Just be ready to clean it off well, because if you don't, it will leave your cock sticky all day. I usually do this in the shower so I can easily clean it off.


Vegetable Oil

Plus, it's low in cholesterol:

I find the best natural lube to use is vegetable oil. You can even warm it up before you start pumping to really make it feel good.


Keri is so Very

Keeps the skin nice and soft:

Use Keri Lotion for a lubricant; it's messy but great!


Lube on the Inside

Take a condom and add lube to the inside of it then put it on. Then jack off as hard as you can and keep going when you nut, this is got to be the best way out there and cleans up nicely.


Tingly Spittle

 If you use something like scope mouthwash or Altoids in your mouth right before you masturbate and spit on your hands, it kinda stings but you really explode! 


Milk is good food

To expand on the whole saliva lubrication idea, I recommend drinking some milk beforehand.  Gives it a nice, thick consistency.  I use 2% and would assume whole would work well, too.  Skim probably wouldn't do that much.


A little spittle

The best lubrication is one that you can always take with you, your own saliva.  It may dry out kinda quick but your mouth always makes more.  Be careful not to be eating anything... sugar candy can make a sticky mess.


Hair conditioner

Take your hand you jerk with and put some hair conditioner on it. Do your favorite move but be careful this is a very pleasurable cream and you will cum quickly so go slow then quick.


Condomania

Wank yourself off with a rubber then let your dick settle without taking it off. Once it becomes limp start it up again and your cum becomes the best lubricant you've ever used. Do this as many times needed but remember not to let the rubber come off.


Make it with Crisco

I jack off with Crisco shortening. Mama use to grease those flat cookie sheets and it would last until you washed it off. Its better than corn husker, or K-Y Jelly or Vaseline or hand creams. A little goes along ways and it's cheap compared to these other products. You can even get away with putting it in a jar in the medicine cabinet and the wife won't even suspect it.  


Lube advice

Mineral oil works really well and doesn't dry out. If you look at the ingredients of baby oil, you'll discover that it is made of mineral oil and fragrance. You can get mineral oil only in the digestive section of your supermarket or drug store. If you  don't want an oily product then try to find Corn Husker's Lotion which is really slippery but it dries out very quickly. To fix that, keep a small spray bottle of water to freshen it up. It comes back to being very slippery as before.


Use K-Y Jelly

If you're married, use K-Y Jelly. It's odorless and tasteless. I for one don't want my wife to put my dick in her mouth and have it taste like Cetaphil. 


More Tips: 

Female Masturbation | Lube Advice
 Using Objects | Creative Contraptions
Kinky Pleasures  | Stroke Technique
 From the Kitchen

 

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